N.D.A. - Non Dancing Agreement

Writing after almost a year and a half for all the millions of fans of this blog!

OK, lets get it straight...I Do Not Dance and DO NOT LIKE DANCING!

I always thought that it was a capability issue and not an intent issue. I always thought I had the behavioural competencies such as positive attitude - i just lacked the technical skills - for which I could be trained (if u did not understand this - just ignore - it one of those random HR jargons).

Now let me tell u that I did try! I tried the cool dude nonchalant step...I tried the balle balle punjabi munda step..I tried the UP waala thumka...When nothing succeeded, I resorted to headbanging at everything - from punjabi rap to rock and roll...I went to wet nights (jam sessions at XL) and pretended to have a rocking time! I made up the cool DJ type look showing the world that I was indeed having a rocking time (for reference, watch DJ Frankie Ramdayal in the first 5 seconds of this video - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bhLm_IZpnP0&feature=related).

Then one fine day, it struck me - I HATE DANCING! Yes I really do! I just cant understand why people get so excited by dancing..I really cant..It is not just a capability issue, it is also an intent issue...Yes, this is not what I am..This is not what I stand for..This is not what I enjoy..

I know dancing at social gatherings is considered cool or rather 'kewl'..People often accuse me of being uncool, boring, oldie and uncle etc etc because I do not dance. Well, my point is that if coolness and youth are determined by 'dancing' as a yardstick, I prefer to be termed as uncool! I mean there are so many other cool things to do...Cant I leave dancing and still be termed as 'cool' or 'young'. Do I have to torture my self and fake it with dozens of drunk guys and girls to be termed as 'cool'? Well, I prefer to be 'uncool' in that case!

By not dancing, I also serve two very important functions - Firstly, I form the audience. I make all the dancers look 'cool'. I can sit at the side and order food and drinks for others. I can applaud people at awesome steps and boost their egoes. It is like being the ball-boy at a cricket match - it is uncool, but critical! Secondly, I am generally the sane guy, who would carry all the drunk dancers to their rooms/cars. I also escort them to a safe place when want to puke. I have even guarded my drunk friends' drunk girlfriends against drunk perverts who try to take advantage of their drunk state! And for all that social service, u call me 'uncool'! How uncool is that!

I am sure there are many more who hate dancing. They are busy either faking it or they simply get drunk so badly that even pole dancing would seem cool to them. And I get all the blame in the world for simply being the nice guy - the nice guy who doesn't fake, who doesn't get sloshed - who simply sits by the side and enjoys the site of his friends getting happy at what makes them happy. And so, what I simply expect in return is that my friends get happy seeing me doing what makes me happy - i.e. not dancing and sitting by the sidelines and sipping chilled thumbs-up!

So heres a toast to a world where dancing is not the only cool thing, where Thumbs-Up is considered a rocking drink, where people do not need to get high to get a high in life...and that my friend is my N.D.A. - Non Dancing Agreement!

PS - I would dance at the convocation wet night - for the simple reason that it would be the end of an era and coz I do not want to miss out on all the gossip..But yes, I retire from all social dancing after that!