The other side of a top international job @ a B-school

First things first - I would not be minting millions and my life is NOT "set". I would not be dancing in the Swiss Alps in DDLJ style and for heaven's sake, I do not think that I am a stud because I got this job!

Getting a top international job at a B-school gets you instant fame. Thanks to Facebook, the entire world gets to know about it. Let me present the other side of it.

Firstly, the entire world thinks that you are going to be a millionaire. You would have several awesome cars and palatial houses. You would get everything you wish for. Nobody wants to even consider the fact that the cost of living might be higher in a different country and that others might be earning more if you talk in terms of PPP (Managerial Economics anyone????) . All that they see is the salary converted into rupees!

If that is not enough, everyone forms an opinion about you - you are either GOD or you are an arrogant bastard. It is really funny how b-school judges you on the job you get and not on the person you are! I mean just because you cracked a GD and a 30 minute interview, you do not become a stud. Still, the "God" tag atleast boosts you ego at times when you are down.

What is more dangerous is the perception that you are an arrogant bastard. "XYZ mei ho gaya naa to stud ban raha hai". Unfortunately, the proportion of population that falls in this bracket is greater. You wear a t-shirt with your company logo, only because ALL your clothes are dirty and you would get comments from everyone you meet. You want to scream, "For God's sake, I dont want to show off my company!!! It is the only clean piece of cloth left for me!!!".

What is even more dangerous is how some of the toppers see you as (assuming u have a low GPA). They see you as someone who lacks substance and conceptual clarity. They want to believe that you got the job because you studied in a fancy school that taught you how to play with words. You want to shout at the top of your voice, "Come on guys!!! I respect you for what you do. I give you full credit for your good grades. You could do the least by not being judgmental and by giving due credit to my learnings in the past 25+ years". Some of them would never talk to you properly or would be nice to you only on your face. With time, you learn to pity them.

Now with the women! The ones who are looking for something long term see you as someone who is gonna fly away to an international location and hence get distracted to the other long chunk of "available" guys. The others feel that you have entered a different league because of your stupid job and never even try to pursue you! In the end, it is left to you to put in all the efforts. And you gladly choose lazyness over all the effort!

Now talking of studies - you hear this very often, "ha ha ha tujhe padne ki kya zaroorat, u already have the top job". You want to scream that even you want to learn something here! You dont see this simply as an Employment Exchange. Even you want to get decent passing grades, not because you want to be the topper, but because to want to get that freaking degree and also not be embarrassed every time your parents ask you about your grades. Getting a job doesnt mean that you simply stop studying!

Lastly, the entire world starts thinking that your life is "set" and that theres nothing left for you to achieve. You would be in this job for billions of years and would one day feature on the cover page of the TIME magazine. They feel that the only aim in your life now is to get married and have kids. Seldom do they realize that you are just at the cusp of your career and you might not even know what you want to do after this. You might just be in the most unsettled phase of your life, better known as the "Post MBA Crisis".

Unfortunately, such is the state with b-schools of the world. They judge you by the company you crack and not by the kind of person you are. What kind of thoughts you have? What are your passions? Are you a good human being? Are you creative? No, that doesnt matter - you have the top job you see! Getting the top job is the ultimate dream at a b-school. We compete so fiercely with people whom we would be dying to collaborate with after our b-school ends. We dont look at careers, we look at packages. We do not look at job profiles, but rather at the company slots (the coveted Day 0).

I hope that we all realize that getting the top job was all a farce. What eventually matters is how happy you are and how you have realized your true potential in whatever you do. Till that day comes, Happy Placements!!!

N.D.A. - Non Dancing Agreement

Writing after almost a year and a half for all the millions of fans of this blog!

OK, lets get it straight...I Do Not Dance and DO NOT LIKE DANCING!

I always thought that it was a capability issue and not an intent issue. I always thought I had the behavioural competencies such as positive attitude - i just lacked the technical skills - for which I could be trained (if u did not understand this - just ignore - it one of those random HR jargons).

Now let me tell u that I did try! I tried the cool dude nonchalant step...I tried the balle balle punjabi munda step..I tried the UP waala thumka...When nothing succeeded, I resorted to headbanging at everything - from punjabi rap to rock and roll...I went to wet nights (jam sessions at XL) and pretended to have a rocking time! I made up the cool DJ type look showing the world that I was indeed having a rocking time (for reference, watch DJ Frankie Ramdayal in the first 5 seconds of this video - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bhLm_IZpnP0&feature=related).

Then one fine day, it struck me - I HATE DANCING! Yes I really do! I just cant understand why people get so excited by dancing..I really cant..It is not just a capability issue, it is also an intent issue...Yes, this is not what I am..This is not what I stand for..This is not what I enjoy..

I know dancing at social gatherings is considered cool or rather 'kewl'..People often accuse me of being uncool, boring, oldie and uncle etc etc because I do not dance. Well, my point is that if coolness and youth are determined by 'dancing' as a yardstick, I prefer to be termed as uncool! I mean there are so many other cool things to do...Cant I leave dancing and still be termed as 'cool' or 'young'. Do I have to torture my self and fake it with dozens of drunk guys and girls to be termed as 'cool'? Well, I prefer to be 'uncool' in that case!

By not dancing, I also serve two very important functions - Firstly, I form the audience. I make all the dancers look 'cool'. I can sit at the side and order food and drinks for others. I can applaud people at awesome steps and boost their egoes. It is like being the ball-boy at a cricket match - it is uncool, but critical! Secondly, I am generally the sane guy, who would carry all the drunk dancers to their rooms/cars. I also escort them to a safe place when want to puke. I have even guarded my drunk friends' drunk girlfriends against drunk perverts who try to take advantage of their drunk state! And for all that social service, u call me 'uncool'! How uncool is that!

I am sure there are many more who hate dancing. They are busy either faking it or they simply get drunk so badly that even pole dancing would seem cool to them. And I get all the blame in the world for simply being the nice guy - the nice guy who doesn't fake, who doesn't get sloshed - who simply sits by the side and enjoys the site of his friends getting happy at what makes them happy. And so, what I simply expect in return is that my friends get happy seeing me doing what makes me happy - i.e. not dancing and sitting by the sidelines and sipping chilled thumbs-up!

So heres a toast to a world where dancing is not the only cool thing, where Thumbs-Up is considered a rocking drink, where people do not need to get high to get a high in life...and that my friend is my N.D.A. - Non Dancing Agreement!

PS - I would dance at the convocation wet night - for the simple reason that it would be the end of an era and coz I do not want to miss out on all the gossip..But yes, I retire from all social dancing after that!